Parenting: Praising Children, Raising an Intelligent Child
Our children’s portraits can be seen at LinneaLenkus.com
My good friend, Pam, emailed me a link to a New York Magazine article about praising children called, How Not to Talk to Your Kids; The Inverse Power of Praise, and I really think it should be part of every parent’s reading list. I’m sure glad that she emailed it to me.
The article, written by Po Bronson, brilliantly describes a study by psychologist Carol Dweck who explored how praise affects children. Dweck studied the difference between praising a child for their intelligence or praising a child for their efforts. Now, that may seem like a little discrepancy, but Dweck found that there was a huge difference in performance, frustration and hope for each child.
After reading this article I realized that I was guilty of praising my children’s natural smarts a bit too much. I then altered my verbage slightly with my children to reflect their trying hard and working hard to produce intelligence. I have noticed a definite difference. Not only are we more active at the family table drawing and talking about educational things, but there is more harmony.
Interestingly, I made the realization that my mother has always praised me for working hard. It’s funny when you realize that your mother knew it all along, and that she guided you and nurtured you to the person you are today.
My mother produced a daughter who has always made a big effort. I never realized until now that she did this because I have been too busy working hard. Not only do I work hard daily at being a good parent, but I work daily at being a good photographer. Does it work? I hope it does. All I know is that I have always been driven and happy.
Thank you mother. Happy Mothers Day.
Our child portraits, which include mother and child portraits, can be seen at LinneaLenkus.com
